


Culture Swap

by Slamstorm



Category: Hiveswap, Homestuck
Genre: Alien Cultural Differences, Angry Pidgeon, Canon-Typical Violence, Clowns, Gen, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Psychological Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-24
Updated: 2019-05-24
Packaged: 2020-03-13 18:42:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18946651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slamstorm/pseuds/Slamstorm
Summary: Joey finds herself ill prepared for the harsh social practices on Alternia, in more ways than one. Thankfully she has her newfound friend, Xefros, by her side. He's a bit of a defeatist sometimes, but Joey is sure that he's more dependable than he realizes.And obviously, being stranded on an alien planet was never going to be easy. But things could've been a lot worse. Because even though it's Joey vs this bizarre, alien world, she isn't fighting alone. And as long as she and Xefros can rely on each other, things should turn out okay... right?





	Culture Swap

**Author's Note:**

> In honor of Hiveswap getting... like, literally any sort of update, here's a Joey-centric story!
> 
> If you were one of the people who read my other work, here's that darker story I mentioned. On a side note, I feel a bit embarrassed reading that one now. It's not that bad, but I definitely feel this one is better written. Ideally I'll be saying the same thing about this story with my next work, gotta strive for improvement.

One. Two. Step and twirl…

This was it, Joey Claire, Extraordinaire was making her debut in front of a live Alternian audience. A cultural exchange that would shake the  
fabric of society… a pirouetting ambassador… alien superstar, Joey  
Claire! It was her!

Aaand… pose!

Joey let out a short breath from the exertion of her performance, relaxing her posture. Eyes darting around, she anxiously awaited her audience’s response. What was the consensus? Had she awed them into silence? 

The answer came with a bemused lick from her deercat companion, and a soft ‘coo’ from her avian charge, Byers.

Xefros’ sloth went back to sleep.

...Success!

Letting out a sigh, Joey let herself fall backwards onto the grass… or whatever this Alternatian alien plant was called, anyway. Dancing was a great way to pass the time, but honestly? Lusu- lusii? They didn’t make great spectators, not that she’d been expecting any different. Her dog, Tesseract wasn’t a particularly engaging audience either. As much as Joey loved animals they just didn’t have the capacity to truly appreciate the art of dancing, Tesseract did seem to enjoy her ballet music though.

She only hoped her precious girl was okay back at home, Jude had better not let anything happen to her! After all, she was taking care of Byers. It was only fair! Okay, she didn’t really think Jude would let anything happen to Tesseract. He was a dorky brother but… he’d kept her safe, she’d give him that. A mom worries though, you know?

Big sisters worry too.

Joey groaned in frustration as she picked at the vegetation. Moodily, she watched the blades of grass drift away in the wind. So bored. So… sick of worrying! She wished Xefros was here to distract her from the ache in her gut. Unfortunately Xefros had had to go into town. Since aliens were apparently super illegal on Alternia, she couldn’t just waltz into populated areas. So she was stuck in the outskirts of the suburbs until he came back.

-

“I’m sorry, Joey. But don’t worry! I know of someone who I think might be able to provide you with a disguise, then you’ll be able to walk around without worrying as much!” Xefros gave Joey what she assumed was meant to be a reassuring smile, but she couldn’t help but feel he looked a little lost.

“Xefros, are you sure you’re going to be okay? I haven’t been here very long, so I know I’m far from an expert on troll social practices. But is there, like, a social stigma surrounding people with certain blood colors?” Xefros had seemed somewhat… self deprecating when the subject of his blood color had been brought up. Apparently having burgundy blood was considered a bad thing? Joey figured it might be comparable to racism, though the circumstances surrounding it were almost certainly different.

Xefros’ smile faltered. “I mean yeah, I guess you could say that.” He began nervously wringing his hands. “B-But don’t worry about that Joey! I’ll be fine as long as I keep a low profile and don’t draw any attention to myself. I can get your disguise, honest!”

Joey winced. “Xefros, the disguise isn’t important. I mean it is, but I don’t think it’s worth you getting in trouble? I mean you were literally almost crushed to death like, two hours ago!” 

That incident alone had been bad enough. And even though she appreciated him going out of his way for her like that, Joey was already beginning to treasure her friendship with Xefros dearly. The thought of him getting himself hurt for her sake a second time filled Joey with dread.

He didn’t seem to realize that though, his face fell and he seemed to deflate a little. “I know, I really botched that rescue. I’m sorry. But I swear, I can do this.” His eyes pleaded with her. “Just trust me, please? I won’t screw up again, I promise.”

Ugh, there it was again. It was becoming increasingly clear to Joey that Xefros had a lot of negative influences in his life, he so readily put himself down! Was Alternian society so discriminatory that Xefros really considered himself to be intrinsically worthless just because his of his blood? Or was it because of his friend, Dammek? Her face darkened at the thought. It was frustrating, because Joey knew what it was like to feel worthless and unwanted, and she understood the desperation that came with those feelings.

But Joey knew she wasn’t worthless, and neither was Xefros. No matter what some firearm wielding jerk might think. Hmph.  
Folding her arms defiantly, Joey looked Xefros straight in the eye and prepared to tell him as much. She tried to ignore how he flinched at the action.

“Xefros, as your friend, I can’t help but worry about you. But… I also think you’re probably way more competent than you give yourself credit for? I just don’t want you to get yourself hurt, you know?” Letting her arms fall to her sides, she let out a sigh. 

“Honestly, it kind of... freaked me out how easily you accepted that you were going to die under that rubble. You deserve better than that, Xefros.”

“Joey…” Xefros looked like he was on the verge of tears. Oh… oops. Joey realised with a twinge of embarrassment that she may have overdid it. But she had promised to improve his standards of friendship, hadn’t she?

Sheepishly, Joey stared at the ground as she muttered an apology. “Uhh, sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

“It’s okay.” Xefros wiped at his eyes with his sleeve. “I think this might be moving a little too fast for me though”.

Joey looked up. “Huh? What do you mean?”

“I know that you said that being fated to be moirails with Dammek is stupid, and I don’t know. Maybe it is.” Xefros began nervously turning over a bent spoon Joey figured must’ve been in his sylladex.

Oh right, Xefros had brought that up earlier.  
“Yeah, I’ve been meaning to ask you what that means. What’s a moirail?”

Xefros paused. “Wait, you don’t know what a moirail is?”

“Um, no.” Joey inclined her head slightly, hesitating. “Like, I really hate to reiterate, but I’m an alien and I very often won’t have a frame of reference for your species culture, customs and relationship dynamics yada yada yada, I don’t get. You get the picture.” 

“Oh no. No no no...”  
Xefros gave her a look like a deercat caught in headlights. Well, maybe just a regular deer. Yeah okay, now Joey was starting to get a little alarmed. “Are you okay Xefros? I didn’t do something weird, did I?”

“No, no! I’m sorry, it’s not your fault. N-Nevermind.” He wouldn’t look her in the eye. “I just… I’m pretty sure I just made a fundamentally wrong assumption. Again, not your fault! Just… cultural differences, r-right? Ha. Ha ha ha…” He dissolved into nervous giggling.

Geez, what she wouldn’t give to never go without context again. It would save her a lot of headaches. Unfortunately, context is an elusive creature when you’re on an alien planet. She’d just have to deal with it. “Xefros, I don’t know what you mean, (IDKWYM) but I’m not going to hold anything against you just because you misunderstood something, okay? Promise.” Joey gave him what she hoped was a reassuring smile.

“Thanks Joey” He returned her smile weakly. “But I’d really just appreciate it if we could just drop it. Please.”

Joey sighed. “Okay, Xefros.” Yeesh, this was awkward.

They stood in silence for a while, seemingly both infected with whatever mortification Xefros was wrestling with. Unable to handle the atmosphere, Joey began absently stroking Byers plumage. She couldn’t help but envy the little guy at that moment. His little pigeon brain may be the size of a walnut, but at least he didn’t have to deal with whatever this was. Eventually, Joey couldn’t take it anymore.

“I meant it, you know. I don’t think you give yourself enough credit.” Her thumb gently circled over Byers head. “If you say you’ll be okay, I believe you.”

Xefros went rigid as though he’d been shocked, but quickly relaxed and gave her a smile that seemed far less forced.

“Thanks Joey, you’re…” His cheeks tinted. “You’re a really good friend.” Joey beamed. Yes! This was the friendship Joey had been so desperately craving, this fundamental connection and understanding between people. Oh man, they were gonna have so much fun! Joey could tell him about dancing and animals and the video games she like to play, and Xefros wouldn’t call her a poser because he was way too polite to ever say something like that. And Xefros could tell her about… well she wasn’t sure, that was the exciting part!

And they’d learn a little more about each other every day, until they were close enough that they had a deep, emotional understanding of each other’s traits and quirks, hopes and dreams, fears... So much that they’d be able to glance into each other’s eyes and be able to tell at a glance what the other was… was...

Okay, she was getting a little carried away. It wasn’t fair to Xefros to build her expectations of him to such a degree. Still, she was excited. Ah, said friend was talking.

“I’m going now, I’ll get your disguise, I promise.” Xefros still looked a little nervous to Joey, but now his smile seemed genuine. That was good enough for her.

She gave him one last goofy, friendship filled smile, for the road. “Yeah, Xefros. I’ll see you soon.” With that, Xefros began his trek into the suburbs, she waved him goodbye and tried her hardest not to think of all the unusual, alien ways he could meet his grisly demise, as he sank into the foliage towards the urban area in the distance.

-

He was fine, probably. He lived on this planet after all, which hopefully meant he had experience when it came to Alternian street smarts.  
Still, Joey wished he’d get back soon. She had so much to talk to him about. And when all was said and done, and the overarching cloud of peril wasn’t hanging over them… maybe she could dance for him? Okay Actually, Joey really wanted to dance for him, you had to understand how starved she was for a good audience. 

Jude was an okay, but he rarely wasn’t occupied with whatever conspiracy rubbish he was currently invested in. Recent events had forced Joey to admit that it wasn’t complete nonsense, but that wasn’t the point! The fact of the matter was that she’d often have to go out of her way to get him to watch her, and because of that he’d always be too grumpy to give any real critique. And while her babysitter’s attention was flattering, she was often under the influence. And when she was, her cheering tended to be loud. Kind of distracting, it wasn’t exactly appropriate for what was supposed to be a classy dance.

That was why the idea of dancing for Xefros was so appealing, he was her friend. An alien friend mind you, but in a way that made it even more significant? Because not only would Joey be sharing something that she considered important with her new friend, she would be offering Xefros a piece of her species culture. It was special. 

Joey’s musings were rudely cut short when Dammek’s deercat let out a growl, their head twisting back and forth, surveying the surrounding fauna. Oh, looks like Xefros’ sloth had woken up too. Even Byers seemed agitated.

Before Joey could consider this she felt herself being lifted by the scruff of her jacket, the deercat raised itself on their hind legs and deposited her on the branch of a nearby tree. It surveyed the area one more time, then bounded away. The sloth lumbering after it at a considerably slower pace.

Well, guess she was in a tree now. Geez, what had gotten them so worked up? Should she stay up here? Maybe she should trust these alternian natives to know when something was up. Wait, what was that sound? Joey strained her ears, footsteps, voices. But where were they coming from?  
Carefully, almost elegantly, Joey ascended her tree. If tree climb was dancing… well then she was good at this type of dancing too. About halfway up the tree, Joey could make out what looked to be a large gathering of people. Of course, Joey quickly realised that they were not, in fact, human people. They were trolls, obviously.

They all seemed to be sporting various shades of blue, and purple? Some of them must’ve been quite large, given their distance from her, while others were barely discernible. She squinted harder, were they carrying… weapons? They were. Clubs, chains, swords… eurgh, guns.

Joey could see why the lusii had been so freaked out, she could feel the malicious aura they seemed to radiate from here. They looked violent, vicious, bloodthirsty.

...Bloodthirsty? For who’s blood?

Oh. Oh crap. Crapcrapcrapcrap…

They were heading into the suburbs, the same suburbs that Xefros had departed for like, half an hour ago. They were marching towards Xefros, with numbers, malicious intent, and guns. GUNS. Oh god, was this really happening?

Joey began to breath faster, unable to quell the rising sense of panic in her chest. What the hell was she supposed to do? Should she stay here? Xefros said he’d be fine, but was this really what he meant? Was this a situation he’d been prepared to deal with? What even was this? This… band of troll thugs who looked like they were about to commit a genocide.

She had to warn him, didn’t she? Although, there was always the chance she’d be putting herself in unnecessary danger. But come on. Even if Xefros had been prepared for this, did that really mean it was okay? No! Nothing about this was okay!  
Still, she’d have to make a choice soon. Stay safe up in this stupid tree, or go after her friend. If she didn’t, her choice would be made for her. Steeling herself, Joey took a deep breath, and made her decision.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed this! This is one chapter is actually the longest thing I've ever written, which honestly isn't saying much since it's only like, 2000 words. I've wanted to get into writing for a while now, and fanfiction is an easy way to practice since the characters and setting are all laid out for you already. I'm not sure if I'm characterizing Joey correctly though. There should be one more chapter after this, two tops. Provided I can actually be bothered to finish.
> 
> Here's a video of a pigeon getting some sweet pets. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fXwfxPpqx8


End file.
